Saturday, April 19, 2014

NASA.

I am in the final countdown.
{TEN}
I can hear the crackling voice of the NASA announcer as the rockets power up.
{NINE}

NASA I thought. Not As Soon As I thought. This journey has taken a bit longer than I anticipated. BLAST OFF is not yet here, though it is at long last in the final stages. The feeling of anticipation rises, the engines power up and the restraints are shaking.

Not yet though.

Wait. 

Just a little bit longer.

It's hard to want to keep going through the routine procedures when the moment of excitement is so near. I've gone through them before, I'm sure everything will be fine now. I could just finish after, right? But it's important to make sure everything is as it should be, everyone is where they need to be. I am in that moment hovering between NINE and EIGHT and every moment before BLAST OFF, waiting for the remaining people to come alongside, to flip the switches and point the direction.

Okay, the rocket/NASA analogy might be a little dramatic. I'll restrain myself from continuing. Well, after this last bit: Think of all the people behind the astronaut - there is no way on earth he could leave and accomplish his mission without the hundreds of people who make it possible. I am glad for the past year and a half of support raising, because it means that I am not alone in my missionary endeavors.

This has been something I have struggled with. I had my whole life planned out after high school. A vital part of that picture was that once I graduated college and went into missions, I would have a partner in life. I would be married. I wouldn't do it alone.

Yet here I am, alone. The fairy-tale missionary prince didn't come along. I had to start the daunting task of tripling the number of people I know. Alone. And I won't lie, it has been challenging. There have been times of weakness when I didn't go to some event I should have gone to, or didn't talk to someone I ought to. Other times I pushed through and met the new person - contrary to the shy, introverted self that wanted to stay in the corner. ("How will you be a missionary if you prefer the corner?" you ask. By His transforming grace). So many times I felt alone.

But I'm not. I am not alone.

The great thing about support raising is that now I am surrounded by ministry partners who cheer me on, back me up in prayer, give words of advice and encouragement, intercede for me before the Father. I am so blessed by many I would never have known. There have been times when, worn out from "selling" myself, I met someone who caught the vision and whose excitement restored mine. And often a note with a monthly gift, a snippet of scripture or just an affirmation of prayer brightens my day.

So as I wait for that scratchy announcer voice to call out {EIGHT}, {SEVEN}, {SIX}, the percentages ticking away, as I wait for the moment I get to settle into the office of ICI, to walk the streets of Chicago and talk with the kids, I know that I don't do it alone. We wait and seek out those last six or so people who will join with us in the mission to reach Chicago's kids with Christ's hope.

Thank you for not letting me go forth alone!


The person I used to be.

“We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s OK, that’s good, you gotta keep movin...