Five Date Venture Part 1

I recently created an OkCupid account. 

I always thought online dating was odd. Never thought I would be one to do it. But I know two great couples who met online, and recent events in my life have led me to the point of, "Why not?" Also, both my roommates were super excited for me to get an account. Encouragement helps.

So I create an account. Put up a few cute pics. Try to be clever in my description. 

"Six things I could never do without:

Affection, tea, sunshine, creative outlet, time outdoors, cereal"

I will literally wither away without those things. Just watch me.

Ok, I actually do fairly well without cereal.

I was surprised at how quickly I started getting views, likes, and messages. If nothing else, this online dating thing is good for the ego. Random guys are totally into me. Things they say range from:

"How is your day going?"

to

"Hi, you're cute, who are you and why aren't you my girlfriend?"

I really don't know why guys from Pakistan, Australia, and Madrid even bother. What do you think it going to happen from across the ocean? 

When I told one guy, Patrick, that I didn't think we'd be a good match, his response was "I'm worth it."

Which promptly got Fifth Harmony's "Worth It" stuck in my head for a week (not a good song, but so catchy). I foolishly continued the conversation -mainly because the song was stuck in my head- agreed to go on a date, and then balked with then actual day came. 

He did seem like a little bit of a jerk though, and at some point Roommate started to refer to him as d-bag. He said things like "You're a cutie pie" (hello, are you my grandmother? Or some random guy on the street? Who says that seriously to a grown woman?), "How come your single?", called me "hun" and was being a bit thick when it came to making me pick everything about the date and then not looking up any of the deets himself. When it came right down to it, nothing on his profile interested me except that he was an EMT and was planning on being a fireman. So I made plans with my roommate and told him I had plans when he tried to reschedule. Since then, I have been "ghosting" him (which is apparently a thing, basically ignoring him) and feeling a little bad about it because the people-pleaser in me just feels like that's a bit rude and if he's going to pursue me I ought to acquiesce, right? Except that his grammar and punctuation were atrocious.

 

Note to self: add "ability to spell out y-o-u" to list of requirements in a potential. 

I had another date scheduled for the next day with a guy who seemed pretty decent. I was the one to actually ask him out, mainly because he was nice and open about his life, and I was bored and if I was going to do this online dating thing, I might as well go on a few dates. But then he messaged me all the time and I started to rethink it. So when he needed to reschedule and I was having a bad week and didn't want to see anyone at all I was relieved, and when he tried to nail down a time I left him unread. I thought about ghosting him, but decided to be an adult and just tell him that what with life and all, I didn't want to pursue anything. He said he understood and to keep in touch.

Which apparently to him means messaging twice a day. 

Wrong move, brah. Wrong move. He has now been labeled "Acquaintance" on my Facebook so that he doesn't see most posts. I was hesitant to give him my Facebook, but he said it would give me a better feel for who he was, and it was true - and I was bored. I continue to leave his frequent messages "unread" which feels a little petty, but I work with Jr. High students so pettiness may be rubbing off on me. I know the grown thing to do would be to say I don't want to talk anymore, but I don't have a solid reason other than a simple "I don't want to" so pettiness seems like the better option.

After bailing on Patrick and Deshawn, I just wanted to be done with the whole thing. I uninstalled the app from my phone, I stopped visiting the website on my computer. There was one potential who actually seemed legit and like someone I would for real want to know, so I gave him my number in case he came to town. He's actually a believer and volunteers in his church's middle school youth group (yes!) and we have tons of interests in common - board games, tv shows, books, food. And we both really want to go to the Shedd Aquarium. The only problem? He lives in Milwaukee.

Which is what Roommate and I call him.

"So Milwaukee texted me last night." 

"If Milwaukee comes to Chicago then we can..."

I was ready to be done with the whole thing though. 

Roommate's friend tried online dating and set out to go on 10 dates. 

Roommate suggested I give it five.

So this is what I am setting out to do. 

Go on five dates.

With people I think I might actually enjoy, not just whoever is pushy.

Get used to the whole concept. Get over some of my awkwardness when it comes to dating.

Five dates.

I can do that, right?