Growing up gringa in a South American country, I stood out as a minority, but not a marginalized minority. I fit the goals of beauty - light skin, light eyes, light hair. Being American meant being wealthy (true or not), therefore looking gringa like in the American movies meant being beautiful. Countless strangers on the street commented on my green eyes. Catcalls were the norm since puberty hit. I tried to hide my sexuality to attract less attention. It's not that I was an exceptionally beautiful girl.
Society told me I was beautiful by nature of my coloring.
If society can deem that one coloring is better than another, is it any surprise that the reverse is also true?
"You're pretty for a dark-skinned."
These words were said to my beautiful young African American friend. I often admire her deeply dark skin, her great big smile, and the hair that is so very different from mine that I always want to touch it.
As a child, I quickly grew accustomed to people wanting to touch my hair. Blond and soft and fine was so different from what those around me were used to - Corn tassel stands out as strange in a sea of raven. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of, "Can I touch your hair?" and grew accustomed to it being touched even without my permission.
But I don't know what it's like to be deemed less than because of my differences. To never fall under the category of "normal." To have my hair likened to animal fur.
I am familiar with being an object of curiosity.
I am not familiar with being an object of scorn. Of equally unsettling, well-intentioned, I-think-I'm-complimenting-you insults from racially biased mouths.
What is even more unsettling is this way of measuring someone's beauty or value - by the tone of their skin - penetrates even to the minds of the minority. Light skinned African Americans look down on dark skinned, hispanics closer to their indigenous roots are deemed less than those who have more European blood in them.
These values are assigned subconsciously and trace back to overt historical reasons. Lighter skinned slaves were in the house, darker skinned were in the fields. The unclaimed offspring of the masters who raped as they pleased still had more value than those without white blood in their veins. I saw this in South America, as those enslaved were not African but indigenous tribes like the Quichua. The indigenous people are often looked down on and scorned as uneducated, dirty, work-hardened, poor. The general populous in Ecuador is mixed from the European conquerors and the indigenous. The upper class trace their roots more closely to the Spanish.
Let's face it - in the early days many of the Europeans who came over to the Americas were pretty full of themselves, seeing themselves as better than those around them. They were more advanced and wealthier than the people in the land they were exploring, and if they weren't, they took the wealth for themselves. This created a society where the wealthy were white and the lower class were less so. Value is so often determined by money.
Therefore, most racism is heavily laced with classism. Someone is valued less because they are in poverty. Classism becomes racism when we pass judgement of class based on skin tone.
He's black, he's probably poor. Uneducated. A thug.
She's black, she's probably a single mother. A slut. Living on welfare.
Is a business more likely to hire someone named Andrew or Andre? Joe or Jose? Studies show that people are passed over even because of their name. Their name.
Sociologically, we usually deem whatever the wealthy have as what is ideal. In the past and in other cultures, carrying extra weight meant that you had a surplus of food, were well off. Therefore, being "fat" was beautiful. When I was 13 my friend's dad told me I should gain weight so I could be prettier. Fifteen minutes later, his son told me I should lose weight so I could be prettier. (You can see the culture shift in the span of one generation, as idealizing American values of beauty started invading the Ecuadorian culture).
If the wealthy determine the standard of ideal beauty and value, (value is so often assigned based on beauty), and the wealthy are white, then minorities suffer from never being what is considered ideal. By very nature of being non-white, they are not good enough.
When I first heard the term "White Privilege," my initial reaction was typical: "But there are lots of poor white people. What about trailer parks and (please forgive me) 'white trash'? Sure, some have life handed to them in a neatly wrapped package, but many others have to work hard to get the American Dream. Some never attain it. So how can you say that White Privilege is a thing?"
I came to understand privilege doesn't mean you don't have to work hard.
It means that you are starting from an easier place.
Part of Privilege is thinking everyone can do what I can do, everyone has the same opportunities and tools available to them.
But that's not the case. And there are different types of privilege.
I may experience the privilege of being white while facing discrimination as a woman.
This article sketches a picture of how different privileges play out. Gina Crosley-Corcoran puts it clearly:
"Recognizing Privilege simply means being aware that some people have to work much harder just to experience the things you take for granted (if they ever can experience them at all.)"
I do not apologize for being white - that is how God created me to be.
But I am sorry that historically my race has abused it's status as majority to marginalize those who are black, brown, yellow, red.
We must acknowledge it's a problem when we detract value from a person or group of people - be it because of attractiveness, gender, race, social class, weight, or any other reason.
People have value because they are human beings. Because they are created in the image of God, carefully, intentionally crafted with myriad amazing traits - creativity, compassion, intelligence, strength, courage.
We must readjust our view of the world if we look through any other lens.
If you have not had the benefit of being taken out of your world to see another, as I have, then be intentional. Educate yourself. Dialogue with those who have experienced lack of privilege. Listen, seek to understand. As racial tensions continue to rise, be compassionate. Be a part of the solution.
